This week I learned from my daughter that David Molak died. I went online to read his obituary and noticed that it included a link to a video of his funeral at Christ Church, San Antonio, Texas where I was Rector (Senior Pastor) for 14 years. I clicked onto the link and was drawn into the sights and sounds of the beautiful service in the church where I officiated at so many funerals and weddings. The casket processed in and stopped at the Chancel steps. I went through my book of Baptismal photographs and located the photo of my holding him in my arms, aged three and a half months, on January 30, 2000. I had married his mother and father, Maurine and Matt at the same steps on April 15, 1989.
David has two older brothers, and they and their father all eloquently spoke of David and their loss. As you might expect at the death of a 16 year old Eagle Scout, who loved hunting, fishing, video games and professional football, the church was full to overflowing. I called Matt to see how he was doing, and told him how much we were thinking of him and sent him and Maurine our love. I called and left a message for Maurine’s parents who were also active in our congregation.
What would I have said to comfort those who mourn the loss of such a lovely boy? Words cannot convey the grief they must be going through. Dietrich Bonhoeffer once wrote:
“Nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love…It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap, He doesn’t fill it, but on the contrary, he keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other even at the cost of pain…. The dearer and richer our memories, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy. The beauties of the past are borne, not as a thorn in the flesh, but as a precious gift in themselves.”
Gratitude for a life David lived to the full. Gratitude for the gift of his sixteen years of life and all the memories of it. Gratitude for what we were able to enjoy. Resolve to do all that we can to make his life count for others who may face the same challenges.
His sudden departure may seem incomprehensible to us, but we must believe that he is spared the ravages of old age. Isaiah writes, “The good men perish; the godly die before their time and no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to realize that God is taking them away from evil days ahead. For the godly who die shall rest in peace.” (57:1,2)
1 Corinthians13 reminds us that “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (NIV)
“We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us.” (The Message)
He has gone before us. We shall soon follow. He will be there to greet us. Thanks be to God for the promise of the resurrection to eternal life in Jesus.
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Ted, this is (no surprise) beautiful, thought provoking, and encouragingly hopeful. Matt and Maurine had left Christ Church, but had been visiting. Patrick, I’m sure you know, reached out to them when he learned of David’s suicide. Your contact with them, having known them, I’m sure was a comfort to them. Thank you for being the man of God that you are!
Ted
What a beautiful piece about precious David and grief and loss. My Dave passed away 5 1/2 years ago and I have struggled to describe my feelings to others who wonder at my still hurting soul. Your quote was perfectly perfect. I just discovered your blog and am enjoying the read. I always loved your sermons, even when they hit so very close to home. They were the best ones. Thank you.
Thank you, Ted. What lovely and eloquent commentary that means so much to us, your “former” flock .
Thank you Ted for such wonderful words and still a great pastor to the Molaks.
This must have gone viral through Facebook. It was read by 8,435 visitors! It must have been needed. Ted
Thank you Ted for your beautiful words of comfort and hope to the Molaks and all of us who have lost ones we love . How wonderful that you have the Baptism photo of you and baby David. Your scripture passages and quotes as well as commentary are perfect. I have made a promise to the Molaks that Christ Church will bring in a speaker who can help bring healing and redemption. I am reaching out to Maurine in a special way since I understand something of what she is going through having lost a son as well. You are a great man of God! Come see us!
Antoinette and I wish we were there to help. It was very moving to view the service and remember so many of our friends and the years we spent there. Ted
The most comforting words I have read since David’s passing. Thank you.
This is beautiful !
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful message about David. Since hearing of his death- I have been adrift, incredibly sad for his pain and heart sick over what his family must be going through. Reading your words today was such a blessing to me- a light in the darkness – as I am sure for others as well. Your sermons touched my soul when you were at CEC -beautiful, thought provoking, empowering. I appreciate your lovely words about David and your message of comfort and hope more than I can adequately express. Thank you.
I have been blown away by the number of people who have read this post: 10,780 so far! Amazing. I hope and pray that it will be a blessing to all.Much love to you and yours. I was thinking of Don the other day.
Ted,
What a comfort to see you face and read your reverent message. Thank you for reaching out to all of us!
Blessings,
Jill Murrell Cooper