In 1978 I became Rector (Pastor) of Grace Church, Orange Park, Florida, a suburb of Jacksonville and moved there with my wife Antoinette and my two daughters, Carrie(4) and Amelia(1). The church members were local and Jacksonville professional and business leaders and their families and navy families from the nearby Jacksonville Naval Air Base. At one point I had five retired admirals in the congregation as well as many serving officers. In addition to the church we also had a sizable day school. While I was there we celebrated the church’s centenary.

A plantation was established in Orange Park by Zephaniah Kingsley whose name was given to the street on which the church is situated. It was later leased by Harriet Beecher Stowe (the author of Uncle Tom’s Cabin) who set up her son Frederick on the property to raise oranges shortly after the Civil War. The town of Orange Park was incorporated in 1879 and became a winter haven for northerners.

The original church was one of the historic river churches on the St. John’s River which were floated down from the port in 1881. We still used it as a chapel after it was succeeded by the main larger sanctuary which was erected in 1968. I served there until 1986. The congregation later moved to a new site in Fleming Island and is thriving as an evangelical, Christ-centered church.

I began writing prayers in my journal for God’s help and guidance in leading that congregation. As I look back on that time in my life these prayers indicate my challenges, needs and desires which seem as contemporary as ever. Here is a sample.

Lord, deliver me from evil. Give me a heart that longs to do your will, that seeks the good of others, that is delivered from preoccupation with self. May my life be dominated by your Eternal Life, your Spirit of Love, your Prince of Peace and Light. May this also be so for my family, friends and those amongst whom I minister. Thank you for knowledge and experience of the fullness that is in and of your Presence.

Lord, I praise you for the new life and status you plan for your people. I praise and thank you for your grace. I thank you for drawing me into your presence. Help me to realize more deeply what being in your presence denotes. Strengthen my dignity and resolve to serve you. Heal me of thoughts and actions unworthy of your presence and service. Fill me with your Spirit of power and sound mind. Take away from me fear and anxiety. Make me whole. Strengthen me with the conviction that I have new life and status in Christ – that I am worthy only because you have chosen me in Him and He is worthy. Lord, I thank you that you love me and have chosen me to be loved. Help me to accept your love, your gifts and to enjoy all that you give me in Christ. Protect me from fear of rejection by men. If I know of your bountiful goodness, your lavish love, I should be satisfied. Thank you Lord.

I thank you Lord that I am not excluded from your presence by my sins or your unwillingness to invite me. I thank you for your constant desire to have me come near to you. I do not deserve this graciousness. Too often I am like a sulky boy who drags himself into your presence, or hides from you because he is ashamed or angry or just plain does not care or wants to do something else. Lord help me to delight in your presence. Help me to thrill to your invitation. Help me to visualize the courts of Heaven. Help me to ascend in heart and mind to feast at your Table. Help me to appreciate your company and the fellowship of all your saints there present. Enable me to keep my mind out of the dark places of the earth and on the highest places. Keep my heart and my spirit in your presence, near to you. Instruct, inspire, encourage and correct me.

Lord, help me to proclaim your Gospel and so establish a solid foundation for the Church. Enable me to look toward Christ and grow toward Him. Help me to see in Him the person who can bring it all together and make it permanent. Lord Christ you alone can make it grow. Methods and management by themselves would be trusting in the flesh. Help me to look to you for growth. Please make us grow. Please make me grow.