I lost a childhood friend this week. We met in high school at a Christian summer camp, were in the same class at university and after graduate school we met up again in London, where we shared lodgings, worshiped together and continued to correspond when we married and moved to opposite sides of the world. In recent years I discovered through his Facebook posts that we had opposite political opinions. He was virulently opposed to a previous administration and posted many personal attacks. I chose to ignore them and to keep our relationship on the basis of our shared Christian faith and to avoid any antagonistic debates. In one of his last emails he told me how much that he enjoyed my Advent blog posts and one that I wrote on the defeat of death. His death causes me to reflect on how to deal with personal relationships when divided by political convictions.

I turn to Romans 14 which deals with passing judgment on disputable matters. We are called not to judge one another when we differ but be fully convinced in our own minds.  It is instructive that the Burial Service in the Book of Common Prayer begins by quoting Romans 14:7,8. “For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.”

Paul goes on to write:  “For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat…So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore, let us stop passing judgment on one another…Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”

I am reminded of the intense rivalry between competing team sports. Every year the University of Florida (Gators) play the University of Georgia (Bulldogs) in football. Fans converge on Jacksonville with their bumper stickers, flags, clothes and memorabilia. Cheerleaders, mascots and supporters enthusiastically back their side. When the game ends one team wins and the others loses. One side is elated and the other is defeated. They go home and plan for the next year. Hopefully they do so peacefully. There is little or no violence.

A democracy is designed to allow rival political parties debate and enact their policies and to be held accountable by the voters. Supporters may be totally convinced of the merits of their political party but freedom of speech and association allows for majority and minority expression. Many policies have been beneficial and many others have been found counter-productive in the perspective of history. There are many unintended side effects that have been dangerous to the public welfare. No one knows everything. Utopian plans have boomeranged. Counselors of perfection have had to eat humble pie. Too many politicians think they can change human nature by legislation and fix all problems in society.

There is no place for egotism in the kingdom of God. Hubris poisons the well of public discourse. “God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy. Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ…So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault.” (Romans 14:17-19, The Message)

I will miss my old friend. We shared many happy memories. There was more we had in common than what divided us. The bells tolls for all of us.

“O Lord, support us all the day long of this troublous life, until the shadows lengthen, and the evening comes, and the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then, in your great mercy, grant us a safe lodging, and a holy rest, and peace at the last; through Jesus Christ. Amen.”